Spit or Swallow - Rate and review South Africa wine Farms

Reviews
Farms Visited
Favourite Wines

Reviewed Hamilton Russell
on September 1st, 2010 at 09:59

I can only score the wines here. The service was non-existent and we felt very unwelcome.

Reviewed Camberley Wines
on August 29th, 2010 at 09:44

Brilliant Shiraz. One of the better one’s I tasted this year. R200 a pop

Reviewed Klein Roosboom
on August 21st, 2010 at 20:15

Done a few Durbanville wineries today and Klein Roosboom came out top of the crop. Had a great little tasting here

Reviewed Du Toitskloof Cellar
on August 3rd, 2010 at 14:34

Had a yummy sweet tasting here during the Soetes and Soup weekend. Ridiculously good priced wines

Reviewed Haskell Vineyards
on July 31st, 2010 at 14:06

Great tasting at open day. Taste all the pillars and still standing. A must visit.

Reviewed Wolfkloof Boutique Winery
on June 7th, 2010 at 16:26

Had an absolute stunning time here yet again. Lets keep this one a secret for now although I think its impossible to turn this place into a commercial drinking hole. Watch out of the brand new Char, its unchallenged.

Reviewed De Trafford Wines
on May 17th, 2010 at 13:37

An adventure to discover great wines. Go deep into the valley and discover this special little place, worth ever kilometer and speed bump.

Reviewed Groot Constantia
on May 9th, 2010 at 15:12

On Friday the Madame and myself venture out to the Constantia wine route with the relativity new Cape Point Vineyards as our final destination. A combination of irrelevant situations prevent us from an early departure so we left just after 12:00. We were still under the impression that this should be early enough to give Groot Constantia a go, seeing that our last visit, about a year ago, were absolutely appalling to say the least. In this time we’ve been to more then 200 wine farms, met the Groot Constantia wine maker and educated our palettes extensively. So we thought our new knowledge will help us appreciate this grand wine icon’s tasting experience a bit more. What a big fucking mistake!

Going to Groot Constantia as a normal wine consumer is as good as booking yourself into Pollsmoor Prison for a gang rape session. This place’ only mission is to fuck you over. I will never in my life go their again, or at least not until my rectum stops bleeding. It’s a vulgar place where the useless wine staff’s total lack of interest contaminant the wine until it taste like vinegar. With each sip I just wanted to fuck-off and escape from this Groot nightmare. That fact that we had to pay for this experience made me feel like a complete idiot. For R28 you get wine, full stop. What type of wine? Who knows, no one there cares to tell us. They were to busy doing fuck-all. I’ve experience better service from a sampling stand in the Pick n Pay.

When we left I almost had a tear in my eye. If this is our wine icon which showcase our wine industry and present our friendly South African service to thousand of tourists a year, I’m crying with embarrassment. As we drove to our next stop it occurred to me that this experience now influenced my whole perspective of the Constantia route. I wanted to warn all the other wineries in the Constantia area about this gangster that rape tourist and locals alike, while hiding in sleep clothes made from years of history and heritage. If the Constantia wine route is not careful this Groot shit will drag the whole area down into it’s wicket ways. I do not know if the people at Groot Constantia are under the impression that the general public are fucking idiots and that we do not know when someone rips us off, but I’ve got news from them, we do. I will never go back to this useless institution, never drink their wine (even if every bottle they every make from now onwards get 5 stars from Platter and its cronies) and will make a point to warn ever tourist and South African never to go here again.

But on a lighter point the next farm we visited, after this fiasco, quickly cemented my respect and love for the Constantia route. There are truly amazing gems here, if you can look pass the pile of shit that is Groot Constantia.

Reviewed Constantia Uitsig
on May 9th, 2010 at 13:41

Great service and very friendly staff. Interesting Muscat (with lots of history) and nice pink colour. All in all I would recommend a visit if you’re in the Constantia area.

Reviewed Schalk Burger & Sons
on April 10th, 2010 at 13:19

Had an absolute stunning tasting with Werner. We went through the barrows and tried the low end stuff, but its the Welbedacht ranges that truly kicked butt. Outstanding innings by The Hattrick, The Cricket Pitch and of the CVC

Reviewed Domein Doornkraal
on April 7th, 2010 at 21:47

Wow where the hell is this place?

Reviewed Lynx
on October 2nd, 2009 at 22:40

LOL must be the best profile pic I’ve seen so far for a farm on Spit or Swallow

Reviewed Arendsig
on September 25th, 2009 at 20:10

Opened a bottle of Shiraz 2007 last night. Was absolutely awesome and for the life of me I could not recall the farm. But just one peak at their profile and I can remember, the hosts were just as great as the wine. Another 10

Reviewed Du Preez Estate
on July 26th, 2009 at 14:22

The rockstars of the Breedekloof valley. Wines to match.

Reviewed Avondrood
on July 26th, 2009 at 14:05

I can probably write some long review about the terrior, barrels etc, but lets skip the bull. If you’re in the Breedekloof valley, just go to Adondrood. You can thank me later. The Pinotage Rose is fucking amazingly refreshing and Sauvignon Blanc even better. Now get your butt over there before you miss it.

Reviewed Wolfkloof Boutique Winery
on June 19th, 2009 at 15:25

@Anna-Marie Groenewald – Afrikaans, English, Ndebele, Northern Sotho, Southern Sotho, Swati, Tsonga, Tswana, Venda, Xhosa or Zulu – all good

Reviewed Wolfkloof Boutique Winery
on June 17th, 2009 at 10:08

@Kathy Knight – I can almost copy your exact review except we were not there on Saturday. I’ve done 140 wine farms so far and this one is definitely in my top 10. Had a great time

Reviewed Klipdrift Brandy Distillery
on June 8th, 2009 at 16:15

Nice looking venue but I feel brandy is not quit wine. Nevertheless worth a visit

Reviewed Grande Provence
on May 23rd, 2009 at 12:16

Average wine with big prices. Beautiful setting, worth to have a look at the art etc. However I would suggest to sell that spare kidney before you order some food.

Reviewed La Bri
on May 23rd, 2009 at 12:12

Small and intimate. A real nice little find

Reviewed Boekenhoutskloof
on May 23rd, 2009 at 12:10

Beautiful setting tucked away in one of the corners of the Franchhoek Valley. Our host was very friendly and helpful and the wine was good

Reviewed La Couronne
on May 23rd, 2009 at 12:07

A very disco-tech Scandinavian affair. Hence a bit cold and clinical. The focus mainly on groups

Reviewed Highlands Road Estate
on May 14th, 2009 at 12:08

@Justin Hoy – You guys surely set the benchmark high for the newish wine route. If you like white wine this is a must, or even just a nice relaxing time, Highlands Road is well worth the visit

Reviewed Annandale Wines
on May 4th, 2009 at 19:01

5 year wooden red, and that’s 5 years in wooden barrels. WOW

Reviewed Cabrière
on May 3rd, 2009 at 11:41

Had an absolute wonderful time here. Went on the wine cellar tour and it’s definitely worth the R40